A floodlight was turned on Wednesday night. Laura received her mission call to Florida Ft. Lauderdale.The same mission where I served three decades ago. It is her day, her call and her moment and yet for me a bright floodlight has begun to to shine on what had become a very dim time. A time so dimmed by memory as to almost be forgotten. Like a dream that hasn't been spoken of it fades so quickly. And yet in the floodlight I see it all so clearly. Not as I'm use to seeing it. While 'looking through a glass darkly' All I have seen is a shy boy. A boy asked to lead other boys when he himself needed to be led. An awkward boy void of drive, still grieving his Mom and longing for home. In the dim light I see a lack of maturity, discipline and success. I see companions who wanted to go home and people that didn't want the sacred truths we were offering.
But then the floodlight was turned on.I see it now. I see it all so clearly. I see a boy, a baby really, for whom the gospel light was turned on never to be turned off. I see a selfish nature being chipped away by service towards others. I see so much of true friendship and pure love. I see gospel knowledge pouring into a starving soul, and a boy beginning to see the world as it really is. There are prayers that will never be duplicated, a longing to have my Father in Heaven talk to me. There are lessons that couldn't have been learned at any other time or place. There are other moments too, precious few moments, such as standing in the waters of baptism or seeing the light in a persons eyes as they become aware of who they are and what they may become.
Yes it's Laura's day and mission and she will do things so much better than I did. But in her mission call I see what I was never able to see in my own. I feel the the Lord reaching out to me in his tender merciful way and saying Michael, here is what really happened those thirty years ago. In the Lords bright light what was a fading dream has become life itself. A beautiful clear day.
